What Would You Do?

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I was asked today, “If you paid off ALL of your debt, what would that look like for you?”  I am 46 yrs old and have never been in the position, until now, to actually Think about being Debt Free.  I know that it has been a goal of mine to be debt free and I am less than $25,000 away from meeting that goal.  But I could not answer the question “What would that look like for you?”  And honestly, that is sad. What is even more sad, is that 98% of the American population probably cant answer that question with a belief in their heart that it will really happen.  How do I know that?  Because, if they Really Believed it, there would be an excitement that lit up the whole room when they said it and they would stop at Nothing to make sure that it became a reality.  I used to be that person too.

I have lived my whole life in the “Scarcity Mentality“.  Barely having enough to get by each month, living pay check to pay check, hoping that this is the month, that there wont be too much month at the end of the money.  My mom was never good with finances, so we were never taught how to manage money as children and young adults.  ALL we knew was to work as hard as you could, pay your bills on time when you can, always make sure the kids are fed and have what they need, everything else will work itself out. Always believing, “This is As Good As It Gets.”

Now, I was presented with an opportunity, about 18 months ago, that I said yes to, and since then I have been steadily paying off my debt at a rapid rate.  Things slowed down a little, with my move and life in general getting in the way, then I was asked the question, “How will it change your life to be debt free?”  So, as I sit here writing this blog, doing some soul-searching, to really Visualize My Life as Debt Free and to take a quick glimpse at the Awesome Future that Awaits Me!

I have been what the picture above describes, “Died at 25 and just waiting to be buried at 75“.  That is, Until Now.  I have become ALIVE! Realizing that, for the 1st time in my Adult Life, I Will Be Totally Debt Free!! So What do you do, when your whole life is about to change and you can do whatever you want to do?  Do you know what its like to NOT Stress over bills, or if you can put food on the table, or if you’re gonna come home to an eviction notice?  I’ve been thru ALL of that! And to be able to sit here, Breathe a sigh of relief, and know, Those Are No Longer Worries for me, is a Blessing Beyond Belief!

So Now, I pose the question to you… What would your life look like, if tomorrow, you became debt free?  What if I told you I can help You make that a reality?  If you have so much debt that you can’t think that large at the moment (I know I couldn’t before now), What would an Extra $1000 month do for you and your family?  Did you know, that on average, an extra $500/mo would keep most families from filing bankruptcy?  Don’t be the walking dead, as I have been for the last 26 years!  Do Something About It and Take Your Life Back! Become Alive! If you are interested in making an extra $1000/mo and becoming Debt Free yourself, you can leave a message below or contact me on Facebook.

What Would Your Life Look Like, If You Became Debt Free Tomorrow? I would love to hear your Dreams!  Leave me a comment and share with your friends.  #BeBlessed

Are You Moving Forward or Sitting Still?

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Here is an even better question…..are you still moving while you are sitting still?  That all depends, are you looking behind you at your past? Or, are you looking “Forward” toward your Goals, Dreams and Destiny?

Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with “Remembering” your past.  It is apart of who you are and how you arrived at this place and time in your life.  There are lessons to be learned from your past mistakes to insure that you do not repeat them in the future.  There are also the Happy memories that will always be there to make you smile and warm your heart.  Where we get caught up in the past is usually in those past relationships that we thought he/she was the “One”.  They were the one we were gonna spend the rest of our life with and have the “Fairytale Ending“.  Or when bad things happen to good people that we had no control over.  We get stuck in that “Victim” mentality.  We also, have the “Glory Days”, you know when you can’t get out of that “Winning catch in the Big Game”.  Then you have the “STUPID” stuff you did that you knew when you did it that it was a Bad Idea.  We all have those, Trust Me, I am the Queen of Stupid Mistakes!  That is Life! That is how you Learn.

Yes, all of those things may be true.  But the truth of the matter is that none of those things “Killed” you, Right?  Your still alive or you wouldn’t be reading this blog post now, lol.  Did some of them Hurt? I am quite sure they did.  Did it totally Suck to have to go thru any of that?  Of course it did!  But the fact remains that You Are Very Much Alive!  Or, well, at least I think you are.  Do the pulse check for me, you know, put your fingers on the artery on your neck, and if you can feel that “thump, thump” under your fingers, that means your heart is beating and you have a pulse! YaY!!!! Take a Deep Breath….let it out nice and slow.  Did you feel that?  Did you hear the breath come out of your lungs?  Great!  If you said “YES” to those questions then you are Definitely Alive!

So, why are you still looking behind you?  ALL of that “STUFF“, it can’t be changed.  There is nothing you can do about it now.  Here is something for you to think about…. The truth of the matter is that the future is where your going to live.  So, if you don’t start looking in front of you to your future and start creating the life “You Want”, then you will be spending “Your Future” built by somebody else’s dream that you don’t want to be in.  How is that for a reality check on Monday?

Look at your future as a Blank Canvas.  Now, the way I see it, you have Two Options.  Option Number One, You can let your peers, co-workers, boss, family, society or worse yet, the Government, decide how you should live your life and your future. (How bad is that gonna Suck in 5 years?)  Or, Option Number Two, and my personal favorite, You can design Your Own Life!  Whatever that Means to You!  If money was no object, and the people around you refused to let you fail, What Would You Do?  (NOTE: If the people around you want you to fail or don’t support you, then You Need To Change Your Zip Code, I’m just saying)  The only person stopping you from doing what “YOU” want to do is You!

I am 46 years old.  I didn’t reach my 1st life goal of being a personal trainer until I was 44.  You know what I have been doing all day?  Studying! Why? Because now it is time to pass a National Certification Exam so that when I move to San Juan, PR, I can get a job in Any Gym I want to and I will Still be doing what I Love to do, Just on a Tropical Island!!! (Yes its okay to be Jealous now lol)  I am not bragging about my accomplishment (well maybe just a little, lol) but I am Very Proud of Myself for Overcoming an Abusive Childhood and past to make this happen!  Which means, if I can do it, Anybody Can.  (You can see part of my story Here)

Don’t stand still and let life pass you by because your comfortable hiding in the shadows of the past.  Come out into the Sunshine and Enjoy ALL that life has to offer! Take that Canvas and Paint the Life You Want To Live!

Thanks for taking time out of your busy schedule to hear a piece of my heart tonight! I would love to hear what you are painting on your Canvas!

Alabama Football Rocks!!!

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I have been a Die Hard Bama fan since 1978 when my Granddaddy told me when I moved to Alabama from Chicago, “Your an Alabama Fan Now!”

It wasn’t a question, it was an Affirmative Statement that I was NOT allowed to question apparently lol. I told him, “Grandpa, we live in Alabama, what are you talking about?” He proceeded to have my mom wake me up butt-booty early on opening Saturday to introduce me to “Bama Football” up close and personal. My grand mother cooked us breakfast, and then had home-made chili ready at lunch time when the games kicked off. My granddaddy, told me about every team in the SEC, we watched it all unfold as the house filled up with other Bama fans before the game kicked off.

That was when the Bear was still coaching and we won back to back National Championships! I don’t know how anybody is supposed to pull for another team after that kind of introduction to the game lol.

Needless to say, I have been a Tide and True Bama Fan ever since. I was 11 years old then and I am 46 now. 35 years of pulling for the Crimson and White! The Good, Bad, Ugly & Awesome! I was a true fan when we had 5 coaches in 3 years and got our behind handed to us almost every week. Just like I am a Tide & True Fan Now that we rarely lose a game.

We beat LSU (who about gave me a Freaking Heart Attack) tonight! A very heated rivalry, that goes down to the wire Every Year! Then, at the end of the game to see Nick Saban jumps into AJ McCarrons arms with that Huge Smile on his face! That was Priceless!!! For the man who is Always, so focused on the “Process” and “Finishing” the game.  Who rarely shows any emotion, other than being upset at errors that shouldn’t be happening, to be elated and openly show his happiness and enjoyment in the Win of a Game that he has Loved his whole life, was more than heart warming and brought a tear to my eyes!  (If you missed the “Jump“, check it out “Here“)

We are working on a unpresidented 3-Peat National Championship and 4 Championships in 5 years! We are NOT out of the woods yet with MSU next week and Auburn on the 30th of this month. Who, by the way, beat Tennessee 55-23 today. The SEC Championship will also be a tough match up against Missouri (or whoever since the East is crazy now).

I Love College Football over any other sport! But make No Mistake, I am Proud to be an Alabama Crimson Tide Fan down to the core of my bones and Nothing will ever change that! Good luck to any team that crosses our path between now and January in Pasadena! The Tide is Rolling and Gaining Strength and Speed! Even my granddaughter Janeice is ALL about some Bama Football

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Show your Team Pride!! Whether its Bama or some other team, Leave a comment below and show your team Spirit!

Fabulous Friday!!

This is Fabulous Friday!! Why is it Fabulous you ask?  Simply because I am Grateful to Be Alive!  Because I have a roof over my head on this very cold night, when there are many that will be looking for shelter to get out of the cold.  Because I have clean clothes to wear, when there are many that have none.  Because I have food on the table, when many go days without a Hot Meal.  Because I have a car to drive after riding public transportation for a year.  Because I have cable, internet, a laptop, smart phone and other electronics that some may never know the convenience of these luxuries.  Because I have 2 wonderful Children and 3 Beautiful Grandchildren, when many will never be blessed with a child, much less a grandchild.  Because I have the unconditional love of a man who I only dreamed of for over 44 years, when many may not Ever know what Love is much less unconditional, non-judgmental, true love is really like.  Because I have an Awesome relationship with God, when some will never know he even exists and know the love, peace, joy, forgiveness and happiness he brings into your heart.  Because I have Awesome Friends, when many will never allow themselves to be open to friendship out of fear of rejection and hurt.

I am Blessed Beyond Measure and Grateful for each and every one of my blessings!  What are you Grateful for today?

What Are You Thankful For?!

For Life Is a Miracle

         Be Thankful For Every Day…..   For Life Is a Miracle

Normally people call today “Thirsty Thursday“.  The day before the weekend starts so they can start celebrating with a few cocktails a day early.  When I say “Thirsty Thursday”, I ask, “What are you Thirsty for?”  Of course, the majority of people come back with whatever their favorite drink would be…. Miller Lite, Margarita, Hennessy, etc.  But I say you should be “Thirsty for Life! Thirsty for Love! Thirsty for Success! Thirsty to Help Others! Thirsty for God!

Over the last 3-5 years, I have come to realize that Life is Very Short.  Yesterday is a Memory, Tomorrow is a Mystery.  Your life is like a novel that is being written day by day.  As the day ends and the ink dries on the page, it gets turned to the next.  Once the ink is dry, there is No Changing what has happened.  When that chapter is finished then its time to “Turn The Page To a New Beginning”!  A new day and a new start to what will be an Amazing life if you give it a chance.

See, on my Facebook today, I labeled it as “Thankful Thursday”! See this week is our 24/7 prayer week at my church (Cumberland Community Church in Smyrna, Ga).  For 7 days, people sign up for 1 hour slots to go and pray in the sanctuary.  So, in essence, there is somebody praying 24 hours a day for 7 days.  I have been going here for almost 18 months now and have had the privilege to participate in 3 of these prayer weeks.  Today was my 3-4am time slot.  There is Nothing more amazing than to be in the sanctuary by yourself, going to the different prayer stations and just feeling the Holy Spirit move with you and Hearing God speak to your heart.  I had a very moving and emotional prayer time, praying for my friends in need and especially my children.  My daughter has been having a rough time lately so I prayed for her healing, strength and guidence.  Then as I started praying for my son I was overcome by a Feeling of a strong vibration with chills, being filled with love, overcome with tears, as I Thanked God for my Son and how awesome of a man, father and husband he has grown into.  That I prayed that he be protected, blessed and all of his prayers be answered for being such a blessing to me.  Then to find out that God was Moving for my son at that exact hour was just Awe Inspiring in itself.

So, needless to say, my day started off Awesome! I go to the gym and train my morning client, come home for lunch and find that my books came in for my national certification exam came in! Woot Woot! Super excited (and nervous at the same time) about getting ready for that.  I am texting with my son talking about the prayer events and my exam when I get a phone call from Iroff and Son Jewelers saying I was 1 of the 5 people selected in their “Race for The Ring” contest!! Can you Say “SCORE“!!!

Me Trying on the Ring (Its a Perfect Fit lol) At Iroff and Son

Me Trying on the Ring (Its a Perfect Fit lol) At Iroff and Son

This Sunday, me plus my girls LaTaunya and Emmerald, and the other 4 contestants meet at the jewelry store at Noon for a Scavenger Hunt!  First 1 to get back wins the ring! I am One Happy Girl Right Now!!

I gave you ALL of these details to say this, Every Day is a Blessing!  You Always have Something to Be Thankful For!  If you woke up this morning…that means you are Alive!! Be Thankful!  If, you are alive then your purpose on this earth has yet to be fulfilled….which means…. the Best is yet to Come!! (How Awesome Is That!!)  If you are reading this, then you have internet, so Be Thankful! (Because there are a lot of people who don’t.)  You have a roof over your head, food on the table, clothes on your back, a job, a wife/husband/significant other, children, a car, public transportation, a beautiful sunrise/sunset….The Air in Your Lungs, The Strength to Walk/Run/Workout, Eyes to See, Ears to Hear….Do you get it?!! #BeThankful!

Do Not let another minute, hour, day, week, month or year go by, that you don’t tell the ones you love how you feel. Or you don’t let someone know that you appreciate the little things that they do just because.  Smile at somebody just because you can, it may be the only thing good that happens to them all day.  Hold the door open for the person behind you, not because you have to, but because you can, it feels good and it doesn’t cost you anything to be nice.  Pay It forward!  Be A Blessing to someone else and watch the blessings be showered upon you! Life is Short! Live Out Loud!

So, tell me, What are you Thankful for today?  Leave me a comment and let me know! I would love to hear what makes you smile everyday!

Season’s of a Lifetime

To Become the Person  You Were Meant To Be

To Become the Person You Were Meant To Be

Let me start this by saying that if you have never met me in person then what you see on Facebook or any of my other social media profiles, is the very Positive, Optimistic, Happy, Motivational & Inspiring person. Or at least I hope that is what you get from my posts 🙂  What you may or may not pull from my posts, unless you do personally know me, is that I am a Very Matter of Fact, Blunt, to the point person, with no Edit button or filter.  Especially when I am speaking my mind on something that I am passionate about lol.  So with that being said, what I am about to write is strictly from my own personal experiences and nobody else’s. This is the only “Warning” label that will appear because this will be very candid and uncut.  If you read it and feel as I am talking about “You”, the probability that you are going thru the same things I have already gone thru is 210% True.  But believe me when I say I am only speaking about me at the moment in this post.  I would appreciate your thoughts and/or comments at the end and I Thank You in advance for taking your Time that you cant get back to come check out my world for just a few moments.

I am a firm believer that Everything in our lives happen for a reason. There are no accidents or coincidences. People that come into our life, come into it for a reason.  Some of those reason’s will last a Season and some will last a Lifetime. I am sure that we ALL have heard that saying at some point in our life. I am speaking mostly to the ladies here because, of course I am one & only know about how I feel lol, but if it strikes the men who read as a truth then hey, I have done my job well with this post then 🙂

When people come into our life, especially at a very difficult time, and they help us (or in our eyes), sometimes, we feel as if that person “Saved” our lives by being our friend during that dark time.  I went thru a very bad bout of depression a few years back. I was NOT Happy with my life, my body, my health, my job, generally just waking up and breathing pissed me off to no end. That was a very real thought.  Another very real thought was I just wanted to go to sleep and Never Wake Up.  I did not think any body would care, nor would they miss me.  Why?  Because, I know that if I knew me and was around me for 5 min, I would Not want to be any longer than that.  I was a Very Angry person, especially with myself.  I had every intention of taking a whole bottle of sleeping pills one afternoon.  Just going to sleep and never waking up. I Never said a word to anyone about my intentions.  But a friend called me that day. He got in my ASS. I don’t remember the whole conversation, but I remember very vividly, he said this, “I don’t know WTF is wrong with you but you need to get your head out of your Ass and get yourself together and now!  You are Not this co-dependent needy ass person that you are acting like and you are Not acting like the Tammy that I Fell In Love With! So WTFE is wrong with you…you need to fix it and right now! Because I can and will make a road trip to come kick your ass if that is what needs to happen.”

Needless to say, I burst into tears, told him he made me cry & asked if that made him happy? He said Good because I am not done yet and another thing…dahdahdahdah yada yada yada… was all I heard.  Because I knew Every Single Word he was saying was “TRUE“.  It Hurt like Hell! I cried uncontrollably while he continued to tell me what an Ass I was being.  It made me Soooooo Angry at myself but in a different way.  I will say though, before the end of the conversation, he made sure he made me laugh and asked me what was wrong.  I don’t really remember much of the convo at that point but I do know I Did Not tell him what my plans were before he had called. When we got off the phone I went and flushed the bottle of sleeping pills down the toilet.  I got in the shower and cried for about an hr. I got myself together and slowly started making changes in my life, one day at a time, to make me at least start to LIKE me again.

I bare my soul about this part in my life to get you to the topic of people come into our lives for a reason. That person is/was a dear friend of mine. We had been romantically involved on & off over the yrs until I met the Awesome man that I am in Love with now (and will be getting married soon. YaY!)  Until then though, I held on to him Desperately.  In my mind, he was the 1 that “I” felt like Saved my Life that one dark day. What I have come to realize since then, is that he was Open to Let God USE HIM to save my life. He did Not Save Me. God Saved Me. And I didn’t have a relationship with God then.  I didn’t think he would love me or care about me, much less, save me.  I used my friend as a safety net.  An excuse Not to let other men get close to me.   I was afraid that, if I did, I would lose my life line. The “What If” this doesn’t work out and I need him, he will not be there and then what?

What I have learned, and come to realize is this, GOD is the Only Life Line I Need. He was the one who Saved Me Then, Who saves me Every Single day that I wake up Breathing, which I am happy about doing these days by the way lol.  What I had to realize is that this person was only suppose to be in my life for a Specific Reason and only for a Season.  I had romanticized our relationship, (out of my own fear of being alone and/or the dark places I was saved from) to think that we were “Meant to be together“.  Ha! what an idiot thought that was lol.  He was used, in more ways than one, by God to Save my life.  To show me how to open my heart to Love again. To open myself to Love Again. To Open my Eyes to See Again. To lead me to the place where I would meet my soul mate who I was “Meant to Spend My Life With”.

I say all of this ladies, in hopes that you understand, that just because a man Helps you through a tough time, it does Not necessarily mean that he is suppose to be in your life for a LIFETIME. He was here for a reason, that may, in fact, only  last a season. But please, do not let that man stay when you SEE ALL the signs (even if you don’t want to openly admit it to yourself) that he is Meant to Move On. Not because he doesn’t love or care about you, but because he has served his purpose in your life.  Do not hold on to someone or something out of Fear of the future.  Fear is Not Real, Fear is a Choice. That person that your holding onto is Toxic to your Progress and Hinders you from becoming ALL that God has made you to be. Not because they themselves are toxic people, they are just toxic to your future, because they are Not Meant To Stay In Your Life Any More.

So Take the time to say goodbye in your heart.  Whatever that means to you. Whether that’s crying it out, writing in a journal, writing them a letter and saying thank you for what you did, but I know its time for us to move on, take care. You are not doing it for them, you are doing it for You! I pray that you understand what all this means and that you receive it the way it is meant and it helps you in some way. I am not saying it will happen over night or that it will be easy.  Because, like ALL Change, it will probably not be easy at all.  But I can promise you this, If you ask God to Help you cut the ties that are binding you, He Will Set You Free! He Will heal the Every Broken piece of your heart and soul all the way down into the deepest cracks that you probably didn’t even know existed.  And when he is done, you will be able to Breathe Again, let out a sigh of relief, look up and say…. Thank You God, I know You Got Me Now!

Love Appreciation

Life is not about each moment...But the Moments that Take Your Breath Away

Life is not about each moment…But the Moments that Take Your Breath Away

I wanna take a moment to talk about Love and Appreciation.  We all go through relationships on our road of life.  Some of them Good, some Bad, some Terrible and heart wrenching and the most Awesome of them all, the Love where you don’t think you will ever come down off of cloud 9,999,999,999 lol.  At the ripe old age of 46, I can tell you from personal experience I have been through each of those Love’s More than once.

This goes for men and women, even though I can only speak from the woman’s perspective.  As I mentioned in an earlier post about relationships titled “What Are You Allowing” I talked about how so many people grow up in single parent homes and the fathers, for whatever reason, are not a part of a child’s life.  To teach the boys to be men and how to treat a lady when they get older.  Nor to teach us girls, how we should be treated as ladies by a man.  I said “What you choose to Allow, you Give Permission to Exist“.

Today, I want to talk about the love that has you on top of the world.  I don’t care how great and wonderful your relationship is or how Awesome your partner makes you feel.  At some point in the relationship you are gonna hit a bump in the road or even head on into a brick wall.  That is part of life.  There is no running from it and No relationship is perfect from beginning to end.  When that rough time comes what are you gonna do?  Are you gonna say “Screw This” and give up even though you have been on the proverbial “Cloud 9” for a year or 2 or are you gonna dig your heals in and Love each other through it?

I am a Huge fan of R&B music, so needless to say I probably know just about every love song, break up song and baby making song they play on the radio & even more that they don’t that friends have turned me on to.  But there are a couple that just speak to me.  One that I’ve been listening to lately by Justin Timberlake, Mirrors.  He says “I don’t wanna lose tonight, I am looking right at the other half of me…….Show me How to fight for Love….coming back to you was easy once I figured it out, you were right here all the long“.  Yes I know I missed a Lot of words in there but I got the most important ones to get the point I am trying to make lol.

First, you need to figure out are you Really In Love, because if you’re not, what is the point in being together?  Staying together just because you don’t want to be alone is NOT the right decision (Please refer to your previous relationship baggage to figure out Why this is a horrible Idea).  Now, if you are in Love and you know deep down in your gut there is just not another person on this planet for you, then you have to Dig your heals in and Fight to hold on.  Like JT said in his song, “Show Me How To Fight For Love“.  Most guys don’t know how to fight for Love! Hell, most of them honestly don’t know How to express/show their love much less fight for it. (Sorry fellas *Shrugs*)  We can ALL be a pain in the behind.  There is gonna be things that you do that he hates and things he does that you hate.  Period!  The problem is that we (and Ladies I am talking to you right here) tend to over react on the little stuff so when the big stuff comes up…O-M-G!! Mt. Saint Helen’s has just erupted and you think there is No coming back from that, even though, just the day before, you were on cloud 999,999,999 and this was the man of your dreams.

Sometimes, you have to just Love each other through it.  You may not like them very much at the moment, but You Love them Way more than you dislike them.  Before you throw in the towel, I want you to do something for me.  Take a deep breath, let it out nice and slow.  Now, grab a pen & piece of paper.  I want you to write down Everything you APPRECIATE about your significant other. Their eyes, their hair, the way the walk, the sound of their voice, that they like to snuggle, He takes the trash out without you asking, She has dinner ready when you come home, the house is always clean, random text messages saying “I was just thinking of you and wanted to say I Love You” or a random picture message of what she has on waiting for you to get home (vavavavoom!)…you get the idea. Over the next 30 days, I want you to write at least 5 things Everyday that you APPRECIATE about your significant other.

I promise you this, that if it’s a Deep Real True Love, Then that list is going to be long and nothing else matters.  Know that it’s okay to be wrong.  It’s okay to say your sorry even if you know that you were not wrong.  It’s okay to ask for forgiveness even if it is something little.  But Always, Always Always…Say Thank You for Loving Me even when I wasn’t very loveable. Always Say, I Love You! Even when it hurts, your angry, upset or whatever.  Because even though things aren’t exactly the way you planned them out in your head a thousand times, you still Love them and more than anything else They Need to Know That in the Darkest Hours of your relationship.  Yesterday is a memory, tomorrow is a mystery, today is all we have so don’t let the breaths of each moment slip away when there is an opportunity for it to be turned into a Moment that Takes Your Breath Away!  That is when it ALL Becomes Worth it!  Show them how to fight for Love!

Hope this touches someones heart as it was weighing heavy on mine and needed to come out tonight!  Thanks for taking time out of your busy schedule to hear my heart tonight!  #BeBlessed