Its no secret that I have 3 grandchildren and that they are the Life within my lungs day in and day out. This past weekend I got to spend some much needed “GG Time” with them. With me living in Atlanta, I don’t get to see them as much as I would like to, but it also makes our time very valuable and intense, which I love by the way lol.
My middle granddaughter who is 7 1/2, is bi-racial. She is probably one of the sweetest children on the planet. Never meets a stranger and is Very Smart. As a matter of fact, she just made straight “A’s” on her most recent report card. I have been praying about this post for a few days now and wanted to calm down before I started writing because I wanted it to come from a Good Place to open up productive communication and not anger and hate.
Children are not Born To Hate. As a matter of fact, they are Born to Love. They Love Unconditionally until they are “Taught” otherwise. See, she came home the other day and asked her mom, “Mommy, do I have to keep going to my school? Can I go somewhere different please? They are mean to me and tell me that I am ugly because I am brown and everybody hates me” This Infuriated me as it would any parent or grandparent. Needless to say, my daughter was more than a little pissed off by this too. Trying to keep her calm so that she could have an effective conversation with the teacher and/or principal about the bullying going on was more than just a little difficult.
When I had lunch with my granddaughter yesterday at a local Mexican restaurant in Birmingham, this was our conversation….
(I will call her “Pam” to protect her) Pam: GG, do you have a husband? Why are you always alone? Me: (laughing) No baby I don’t have a husband and when its time it will happen. Pam: Well what about him (pointing at our waiter), he would be perfect for you and you perfect for him (with all the confidence her sweet little heart could muster lol) Me: (trying not to Laugh hysterically and break her heart) No baby that is not how that works but thank you for trying to help your GG like that lol. Your GG is attracted to men with brown skin like yours. Then this is where the conversation turned and I realized that the seeds of self-hate had already started and the bullying was working on her self-image… Pam: Oh, I didn’t know that. When I get bigger I am going to marry me a white man. Me: Well that is perfectly ok baby. It does not matter what color their skin is as long as their heart Loves you with ALL they have in it. Pam: GG, what color skin will my babies have If I marry a white man? Me: They will have pretty brown skin like yours. Remember how the manager here said how beautiful you were and that your skin was so pretty? Pam: Yes, but I don’t like my brown skin and I want my babies to have white skin like yours. Me: (Silence….Fighting back tears) Baby, you are the most beautiful child and your skin has NOTHING to do with your Beauty! Do Not Ever Believe Anything Different! Then I changed the subject as not to upset her or our fun time we were having.
Now, some people would say, that is just kids being kids. Some people will automatically want to boycott the school, drag out the parents of the children and publicly flog them. Others will ignore this to stay in their oblivious bubble thinking there is NOT a problem or it’s NOT their child that would ever do such a thing. Do I think that these 7+ year old children know what it is that they are saying or the meaning behind it? Absolutely not! Do I think the parents “Intentionally” pointed it out and have said something to make their children say those things? I would Pray with every inch of my soul that there was No Intent, but do I think it was most likely and “Unintentional” comment that was said when they “Thought” their child wasn’t listening? Yes I do!
I am talking To ALL Parents! I don’t care if your black, white, asian, mixed or whatever, Your Children Hear and SEE way more than you realize. This is not the 1800-1900’s any more! Relationships between different races is the Normal now days. Bi-racial children are Everywhere! Hell if the Truth be known, None of Us are Pure Bread with just 1 Race Any More!!! Children are Smart!! Children not only hear what we say, they Hear what we Don’t Say! They See what we do, who we hang out with and Also, who we Don’t hang out with! The conversation has to Start At Home!!! When will we quit Teaching Hate to our Children?!?!?!? Do we even know why we don’t like someone of a different race? Or are we just doing what our parents/grandparents did because we think it is “Disrespectful” to be Different and Brake the Chains of Hate!!
Lets do a little experiment for a second (I saw this on Facebook and can’t take the credit for it but I want to share). A teacher did this experiment in her classroom of elementary school students (I don’t remember what grade) She pulled out a “White Egg” and a “Brown Egg“. She showed the class that the color of each was different but they were both “Eggs” and the class agreed. Now here is where it gets interesting, the teacher (God Bless Her) said just like people, our “Skin may be different colors, (then she broke open both of the raw eggs on the plate) we are all the Same on the inside” as both yolks were EXACTLY the SAME! I wish I could have seen and heard the surprise and Awe of all the children in her class at that moment in time. She is Exactly right! We ALL may look different on the Outside, but on the Inside…. We Are ALL made up of the Same organs, blood, bones etc… THE SAME!!!
We look at all the crime on the news, the shootings, robberies, black on black crime, white on black crime, white on white crime… It is ALL Crime! One crime is not any better or worse than the other at the end of the day when someone is injured or killed!! ALL Lives Matter!! Point Blank Period!! It ALL Starts at Home With You!!!
I am making a Plea to ALL Parents/Grandparents/Aunts/Uncles/Brothers/Cousins/Friends/Family Members, Please, I beg you with Every Inch of My Soul, Please Stop The Madness!! Talk to God, Talk to your pastor, Talk to your Children, Talk to your Spouse, Talk to your Family, Go to Counseling, But Don’t continue to Breed Hate for another human being because they LOOK Different Than You!!! If we want our children to have a Better life than we did and to have a Better World to live in when they grow up, WE as the Adults on this Planet, have to be Able to have an Open Dialog, without Pointing the finger and Without Blaming anyone! Look in the Mirror and Say it Starts With Me!! You can be the 1st Step To Change!!
If this has touched you in some way, I would love to hear your thoughts and comments! Please Share this and lets take it around the world and Let’s Be the Change we Seek for our Children and Future Generations!! Thank you and God Bless!
Live Out Loud 