A Big Thank You To All Who Serve


  To ALL of my Friends Family & Loved Ones who have Ever or are Now Serving in our Armed Forces, Active, Retired, Reserved, Past Present & Future! Thank You!

For those of us that have had or have family member that have been Deployed, we know 1st hand the sacrifices you have made, the Unselfishness you possess, the Unconditional Loyalty Deep within your Soul that you were born with and the Dedication to Never Give Up, Never Stop Fighting the Good Fight, Never Leaving a Man/Woman/Child Behind.

We will never understand completely, the things that you have seen, been thru or endured. The reasons you have nightmares that you never want to talk about. The reasons you have days where you are just Angry for No reason. The emotion you feel when you see a fallen soldier you never met. And we will never feel the amount of Pride that you feel every time you hear the National Anthem sung.

The understanding that the day you signed up for this life, that you wrote a #BlankCheck to the United States of America and every citizen that lives here, to Serve and Protect no matter the cost, up to and including the last breath you take with your life to save a Nation of People whom you will Never Know or probably never meet! So on this #VeteransDay I personally want to Say #ThankYou from the Bottom of my Heart and with All the Love I have Within Me for Sacrificing & being the Unconditionally Unselfish people to do what you do Every Single Day! Today is Your Day as is Every day in my book! And I pray for your safety and that Everyone that you come in contact Solutes you and tells you #ThankYou for your Never Ending Service!

The Broken Heart of a Child..Stop Bullying!!!!

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Its no secret that I have 3 grandchildren and that they are the Life within my lungs day in and day out.  This past weekend I got to spend some much needed “GG Time” with them.  With me living in Atlanta, I don’t get to see them as much as I would like to, but it also makes our time very valuable and intense, which I love by the way lol.

My middle granddaughter who is 7 1/2, is bi-racial.  She is probably one of the sweetest children on the planet. Never meets a stranger and is Very Smart.  As a matter of fact, she just made straight “A’s” on her most recent report card.  I have been praying about this post for a few days now and wanted to calm down before I started writing because I wanted it to come from a Good Place to open up productive communication and not anger and hate.

Children are not Born To Hate.  As a matter of fact, they are Born to Love.  They Love Unconditionally until they are “Taught” otherwise.  See, she came home the other day and asked her mom, “Mommy, do I have to keep going to my school? Can I go somewhere different please?  They are mean to me and tell me that I am ugly because I am brown and everybody hates me”  This Infuriated me as it would any parent or grandparent.  Needless to say, my daughter was more than a little pissed off by this too.  Trying to keep her calm so that she could have an effective conversation with the teacher and/or principal about the bullying going on was more than just a little difficult.

When I had lunch with my granddaughter yesterday at a local Mexican restaurant in Birmingham, this was our conversation….

(I will call her “Pam” to protect her) Pam:  GG, do you have a husband? Why are you always alone? Me: (laughing) No baby I don’t have a husband and when its time it will happen.  Pam:  Well what about him (pointing at our waiter), he would be perfect for you and you perfect for him (with all the confidence her sweet little heart could muster lol) Me: (trying not to Laugh hysterically and break her heart) No baby that is not how that works but thank you for trying to help your GG like that lol. Your GG is attracted to men with brown skin like yours. Then this is where the conversation turned and I realized that the seeds of self-hate had already started and the bullying was working on her self-image… Pam:  Oh, I didn’t know that.  When I get bigger I am going to marry me a white man.  Me: Well that is perfectly ok baby.  It does not matter what color their skin is as long as their heart Loves you with ALL they have in it.  Pam:  GG, what color skin will my babies have If I marry a white man?  Me: They will have pretty brown skin like yours.  Remember how the manager here said how beautiful you were and that your skin was so pretty?  Pam:  Yes, but I don’t like my brown skin and I want my babies to have white skin like yours.  Me:  (Silence….Fighting back tears)  Baby, you are the most beautiful child and your skin has NOTHING to do with your Beauty! Do Not Ever Believe Anything Different!  Then I changed the subject as not to upset her or our fun time we were having.

Now, some people would say, that is just kids being kids.  Some people will automatically want to boycott the school, drag out the parents of the children and publicly flog them.  Others will ignore this to stay in their oblivious bubble thinking there is NOT a problem or it’s NOT their child that would ever do such a thing.  Do I think that these 7+ year old children know what it is that they are saying or the meaning behind it? Absolutely not!  Do I think the parents “Intentionally” pointed it out and have said something to make their children say those things? I would Pray with every inch of my soul that there was No Intent, but do I think it was most likely and “Unintentional” comment that was said when they “Thought” their child wasn’t listening? Yes I do!

I am talking To ALL Parents!  I don’t care if your black, white, asian, mixed or whatever, Your Children Hear and SEE way more than you realize.  This is not the 1800-1900’s any more! Relationships between different races is the Normal now days.  Bi-racial children are Everywhere! Hell if the Truth be known, None of Us are Pure Bread with just 1 Race Any More!!! Children are Smart!! Children not only hear what we say, they Hear what we Don’t Say!  They See what we do, who we hang out with and Also, who we Don’t hang out with!  The conversation has to Start At Home!!! When will we quit Teaching Hate to our Children?!?!?!?  Do we even know why we don’t like someone of a different race?  Or are we just doing what our parents/grandparents did because we think it is “Disrespectful” to be Different and Brake the Chains of Hate!! 

Lets do a little experiment for a second (I saw this on Facebook and can’t take the credit for it but I want to share).  A teacher did this experiment in her classroom of elementary school students (I don’t remember what grade) She pulled out a “White Egg” and a “Brown Egg“.  She showed the class that the color of each was different but they were both “Eggs” and the class agreed.  Now here is where it gets interesting, the teacher (God Bless Her) said just like people, our “Skin may be different colors, (then she broke open both of the raw eggs on the plate) we are all the Same on the inside” as both yolks were EXACTLY the SAME!  I wish I could have seen and heard the surprise and Awe of all the children in her class at that moment in time.  She is Exactly right! We ALL may look different on the Outside, but on the Inside…. We Are ALL made up of the Same organs, blood, bones etc… THE SAME!!!  

We look at all the crime on the news, the shootings, robberies, black on black crime, white on black crime, white on white crime… It is ALL Crime! One crime is not any better or worse than the other at the end of the day when someone is injured or killed!! ALL Lives Matter!! Point Blank Period!! It ALL Starts at Home With You!!!

I am making a Plea to ALL Parents/Grandparents/Aunts/Uncles/Brothers/Cousins/Friends/Family Members, Please, I beg you with Every Inch of My Soul, Please Stop The Madness!! Talk to God, Talk to your pastor, Talk to your Children, Talk to your Spouse, Talk to your Family, Go to Counseling, But Don’t continue to Breed Hate for another human being because they LOOK Different Than You!!! If we want our children to have a Better life than we did and to have a Better World to live in when they grow up, WE as the Adults on this Planet, have to be Able to have an Open Dialog, without Pointing the finger and Without Blaming anyone!  Look in the Mirror and Say it Starts With Me!! You can be the 1st Step To Change!! 

If this has touched you in some way, I would love to hear your thoughts and comments! Please Share this and lets take it around the world and Let’s Be the Change we Seek for our Children and Future Generations!! Thank you and God Bless!

Tribute To All My Strong Women


Yes Ladies, this is ALL About You today! Woot Woot! The Strong Women! The ones who are there for their family, friends, church, co-workers & charities. Those that people lean on when they need direction. Those that people seek when they need to be told the Truth they know within but don’t want to hear in the consciousness of the awake world.  The ones that flourish in times  f crisis only to break down behind closed doors because we don’t want anyone to know that we have moments of weakness too!

See, I am a Strong Woman! Anyone who knows me personally and knows even just a little of my story, will tell you that they don’t know how I do it.  I am a personal trainer, so I am physically strong. I have battled Depression and almost took my own life, but I fought with everything within me and Won! So I am Emotionally Strong! I am a Mother and a GG, so as all mothers and grandmothers know, we are the backbone of strength for our families. I am a sister with 3 brothers, the oldest and the only girl, so I am tough deep down in my soul.  I could go on with more and more of things that make me and lots of other women on this planet strong, but it is not about just that. It is about how we know, we are also Weak!  We put on a mask for the world to see because we have our “Strong Woman Crown” to wear every day.

There are some, that because they are strong, they are mean, hateful, bullies, demanding and just a plain pain in the ass to be around! (I used to be her! lol) But when in need, people will run to them, because they know this Strong Woman will Get the Job Done!

There are those that help everyone with their crisis but can’t seem to get their own life together, because they have given all they have to everyone else. (Yep, I have been her too… sigh)  Then there are those that “Seem” to have it all together, Happy, Strong, life on point, always lifting others up and nobody knows the brokenness within.  We dare NOT let anyone see our tears. Why? Because of the fear of judgment, that people wont need us any more if they see us at our weakest moments! (Yes, I graduated to this one as well lol)

To ALL of my Ladies, please hear this if you heard nothing that I said above, Let go of the fear of what other people think! Your Gift of Strength was earned!  God Blessed you with it.  But he also gave us the ability to be Strong in our Weakness! Yes, it sucks being strong all the time, especially when we are having our weak moments.  I know you feel like nobody can be there for you, but the truth is, God is there FIRST and Foremost! Realize, he put people in your life to help you when you are weak!

See, I know this because I have some pretty Awesome people who morphed into Superhero Friends when I least expected it! Give them Permission to Love You! To see your tears and let you cry, but also, Not to join your pity party!  Give them permission to Tell you the Truth, like you do them! Give them permission to help you, when you can’t seem to find your own Strength! Contrary to our “Inner Iron Man” or Woman as the case may be, It is Okay to ask for help from those we give help too!  Why should you even consider that you ask?  Here’s the deal, at the time you helped them, they thought they would Never be able to repay you for the Strength you shared in their time of need.  Well guess what, those that are your “True Friends” that you lended that strength to, will be your “Superhero Friends” when you least expect it!

So quit being all grumpy. Quit trying to save the world. Quit thinking crying is a weakness that will Kill You! Truth be told, crying cleanses and heals your soul! Crying will set your heart free! Letting someone else be strong helps you to be human! Being vulnerable makes you Beautiful and Sexy!

NONE of us have it all together all the time… that is just a fact of life! A hard one that I, myself, have difficulty accepting at times. But as I have grown into this most Awesome version of me that God has allowed me to be, I realize that I am Awesome Even When I Cry!

So, Take Your Masks OFF, My Strong Women! Be Beautiful, flaws and all! Embrace all the perfect, imperfections that God gave, to only you and show the World your True Inner Strength! Your Tears!


One Strong Woman to Another

It’s Your Life So Live It Your Way

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When I saw this picture, it Inspired this post.  It may be a little wordy but it will definitely be worth it 🙂

See, Nobody on this earth makes it out Alive! We ALL are going to Die someday.  We do not know when that someday is for any of us.  Someone, you, me, your neighbor, friend, classmate etc could go any minute today, tomorrow or next year.  I know that sounds scary, but the truth is the truth. That part, quite honestly, shouldn’t even really be a concern to you because the time and place is 100% out of your control.  God has the final say and it is already written as to when your time is up.

So, what is the point of all this Tammy? Yes I know it is a gloomy way to start of a blog, but there really is an Awesome point to be made.  No we may not have control over when we die, But….. What we do have absolutely 100% control over is what We DO and who we Become from NOW until the day we die!  Now, Seriously… How Freaking Awesome is That! (Imagine Me doing my Happy Dance right now! Ha!)

You have a choice to make.  Are you gonna put your head down and just shuffle your feet one day at a time, complaining how miserable you are and how life ahs dealt you a “RAW DEAL“? Is that what you’re doing Right Now?  Well you know what…. SHUT UP!!! Yes, you can go back and read that again in ALL Caps, Bold & Underlined and Imagine Me Yelling at you!!! SHUT UP!!!!  See, the only person responsible for your Situation is YOU! Not your mom, your dad, your cousin, aunt, uncle, sister, brother, pastor, teacher, etc.  Those are people who are “Influences” in your life! Those influences may be positive or negative! You are in total control of what you listen to and accept in your life, NOT Them.

Here’s the deal, you have a God Given, Divine Right to “CHOOSE” how your life goes. How you React or Respond to the Good or Bad situations that happen in your life is up to YOU and You Only!  Yes, sometimes bad things happen to good people and we have Zero control over that!  What we do have control over is to properly “Respond” and say “This was not anything that I could control and I am okay with that!!  It does not Define who I am but it does make me stronger because I Survived it for a Reason“!!!

How do I know this to be true?  Because I have personally lived thru just that.  See, my 1st childhood memories, are of me being sexually abused from about ages 3 or 4ish on and off until it finally ended when I was 13.  I do not have too many happy memories as a young child that I can remember at the moment.  But, what I do know, is that God Protected me from all that pain, physical & mental, by making me black it out until I was an adult and he knew I was able to hand the reality of it all.  I made a conscious CHOICE to NOT let my past, that I had ZERO control over, determine who I am or could Become! Nor would I let it hold me captive as a victim in my own mental prison.  Now there is a lot more to that part of the story of my life that I will reveal in another post, which will Greatly Shock you as to how I am still Standing here Loving and Embracing life to the fullest Every Single Day!

As I said, I am living, breathing proof that Bad things can sometimes happen to Good People and you can make an Amazing life for yourself.  What is it that you need to Let Go of in order to move forward into your Destiny of Awesomeness?  If this post has helped or inspired you in some way, please hit the “LIKE” button and then “Share” on Facebook, Google+ or any other of your favorite Social Media Hangouts, so that we can Help and Inspire as many people around the world to take back their life and Live it to the Fullest!  Remember, the Epilogue to your Life, has Not yet been written!  So Make It Awesome!

Do It With Passion


“PASSION” … What does that mean to you?  I know, your thinking “Tammy, Really”?  Yes, Really!  See, “Passion” means different things to different people.  Don’t determine your passion based on someone else’s definition. 

Some people have passion about work.  Others about church. Some about animals. And others about women, children, family etc.  Your definition may be that you work a few extra hours a week.  Someone else may think that their family is more important than a 8-5 job so 1 spouse sports the whole house hold. 

Then there is the relationship/sexual implications of “Passion” which should be a given, but even in that department there are a lot of different definitions of what that means. 

We all have to do some serious soul searching to find out what it is that makes or heart beat a little faster or even beat so fast we have to catch our breath.  That’s what I’m looking for right there!  That “THING” that every time it comes up we can’t hardly breathe we get so excited!  What is that feeling?  Why does it do that?  Is not occasionally it’s Every Single Time!  That is your PASSION!   That thing that had been put inside you to chase and it makes us come alive!  We talk faster,  breathe harder,  our brain doesn’t want to shut off, or hands get sweaty and or heart beats faster with each word. 

That is where your Passion lies within you! Until you fo something that feeds that hunger you will not know True Happiness from the inside out!  Other people are not attached to this only you!   Someone may be a fuel for you but we all have different journeys.  And when you get on that path you know without a doubt God has led you there because not only is there Passion & Fire there is Peace!  That is the Ultimate Goal… Peace within your Passion!

What makes your heart race?  What is your Passion?  What can you do to make that passion make money for you?  Start at the final destination and work backwards to see that action steps to get there!  But None of this will matter if you never take that first Step! 

I spyglass love to hear what Passion means to you! Please share and keys inspire the world to feed their Passion!

Free Your Mind…Live Your Life


You know, we all spend so much time with our life in Hyper-speed! Go here, do that, listen to this, talk to this one, that one & the other one. Go to work, 8, 10, 12 or more hours a day. Come home, cook, clean, take a shower, pass out & do it all over again the next day.  We worry about who is watching or “Not” watching us.  What they think of us or what they may or may not be saying about us.  There is feeling that is so Paralyzing with “What do they Think about me?”  Whether its a love interest, a new friend, co-worker, boss or just someone that catches their eye in the line at the grocery store.  So many of our thoughts are caught up in “What other people think” about us.

Well you know what… Who Cares!!! Seriously!  Yes, maybe that sounds a little harsh to some of you, but honestly, its the truth and you need to hear it!  We spend way too much of our Good Energy on people who 98% of the time are not even giving us a second thought, much less their first thought.  If they made you mad, they Do Not Care!  They haven’t thought about it for a second and I would venture to guess they probably don’t even know they made you mad in the first place. I am sure you are wondering what this has to do with Business and Wealth.  Just stay with me for a few minutes as I explain the connection to you.

So, now, You are walking around all puffed up over someone else’s opinion of you, you are mad for hours, days, weeks and in some cases even Years for No Reason at all! People are gonna hurt you and you are gonna hurt other people whether its intentional or not.  Whether its with words or actions (or the lack there of in some cases) its inevitable that its going to happen.  There is a thought process that I use to help me when things like this happen.  First thought, “Is there anything I can do to change this situation?” Its a simple yes or no.  If Yes, then list what I can do and then do it.  If “NO”, then its oh well, on with my day.  Let go and Let God!   Yes it is really that simple!

See, if your mad, then Your Day is ruined.  You are in control of your emotions not them.  When you learn that one simple principle then your life and all the circumstances surrounding you will change.  Whether that is in your personal, professional, financial, spiritual, emotional or social life.  That is how this is tied into your business and wealth.  When you learn that if you let them make you mad and you stay that way then They Win! That is where it affects every area of your life!  If it happens in your love life, then it affects your business life because you cant completely focus on your job or business because your heart is hurting.  If its in your social life, it affects your financial life because now your focus is not on your money, its on them.  When you let other people control your emotions and give your thoughts momentum to the negative side of life, its the equivalent of drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.  How is that working out for you?

Life is Too Damn Short to be walking around Pissed off all the time!  If someone you love hurt you, cheated on you, lied to you or whatever the case may be, you have the same 2 choices.  Can it be fixed? Yes or No?  If yes, then work together to find a solution and fix it!  If NO, then walk away and let it go!  If the only solution is to walk away know that this part is not always so easy all the time. (trust me I speaking from personal experience) But you were put on this earth to do something Amazing!  You may not know what it is right now, but if you are walking around all mad & upset all the time, you will never be able to see the open door to you blessings or to your destiny!

Don’t spend your life looking down at the ground, upset, mad or miserable! Look up and enjoy the beautiful sunshine, laugh, smile, have fun and Follow Your Heart! Do Not Let Life Pass You By and Don’t let the world paint on your Canvas of Life! That is your paint brush and you are in control of what goes on your canvas from hear on out!! How will you Paint Your Future??!!  Happiness is a Choice!  You have the God Given Right to be Happy!  You and you alone are responsible for your Happiness.  Other people can add to or contribute to it, but putting the burden on someone else to “Make You Happy” means that you are not in control of your life.  Is that the way you want to live your life?  Out of control and in hands of someone else?  A long time ago, I had to learn this lesson and lean into it for my own health, wealth and mental well being.  It changed my life forever!  So much so that now I am an International Life Coach, Public Speaker and a soon to be Published Author when my book comes out at the First of August!  The belief level that I have in myself changed direction 180 degrees when I realized that I was in control of my Happiness and not someone else.  That I was in control of my future, not someone else! That I was in control of my Finances and not someone else!  I was in control of my Destiny and not someone else!  You too, have this same control!

I would love to encourage you to grab a white piece of paper and a blue pen.  Now, name one thing that you can do today that will make your day 100% better than yesterday? That one thing could be as simple as “I’m going to go to the pool and just enjoy the sunshine today.”  It could be as simple as “I am going to give my kids an extra hug today and tell them how much I love them.”  Maybe, its something like “I am going to put on my headphones, turn up my favorite tunes and dance around the house naked while I clean!”  That thought alone should have made you laugh and your day is already better! (Your Welcome!)  Take a Deep Breath, let it out nice and slow, Feel the Life that is inside of you come Alive within that breath!  If you are alive, then you have a purpose on this earth and it starts with Choosing to make yourself Happy and watch how the universe returns that to you in ways you can only imagine!

If this touched you or if you know someone this message would be a blessing to, please hit the like and share button and help a friend today!  And as Always, thanks for coming into my little world and letting me share my thoughts with you today! Hope to see you next week!

Oh and if your interested in my new book coming out…. Look for it on Amazon.com the title is “Dear Victim, Its Time for Us to Break Up Now!” A Story of Empowerment through Forgiveness Strength and Love.   Watch for links to be posted soon!  Love you all so much and cant wait to talk to you again Next Week!

Take The Lid Off Your Dreams


There is so much to learn from this picture. When we are kids we Dream these HUGE Dreams.  We water them, we act them out during recess, we tell anyone that will listen what we are gonna do when we grow up. We have so much excitement! Our eyes are all happy,  we talk fast, we show everyone our super hero costume,  believing with every inch of our little soul, that 1 Day we are going to save the world and everyone is gonna live happily every after.  Do you remember those days?  What did you want to be? Astronauts, fireman, Doctor, nurse or a Movie Star lol!

Then we hit middle school and is like our teachers that once fed our imagination and dreams were now Zombies and they were trying to make us just like them! Ewe!! We had to be realistic and have a “J-O-B” that could pay the bills because our silly dreams would never happen.  Sheesh! Do you remember the first time you were told or realized your childhood dreams were made out to be pipe dreams by the adults who thought “They Knew All the Answers?” 

Now, we are all Grown Up, and 98% of people on the planet literally HATE their job. They dread going to work.  They are depressed and generally just go thru life as a Zombie because they feel they have No Way Out! They quit dreaming and probably wouldn’t know where to start off looking for a dream these days.

I am here to tell you that you can do whatever you want to do! No matter how old you are or what stage of life your in at the moment.  How do I know this you ask? Because I am Living Proof that it can happen!  See I am 49 yrs old. I have 2 grown children and 3 beautiful grandchildren!  I have worked in restaurants on & off my whole life. Then 1 day I lost the job, the house, the car and my whole life was flipped upside down.  I gained a bunch of weight,  got depressed,  people who I thought were my friends, disappeared into thin air.  Waking up and breathing generally pissed me off! (I know, to know me now, you would never believe that person could ever have been me lol)

But, I got in the gym and started working out with my best friend and my roommate at the time and between the 3 of us we lost almost 150lbs! That is when my Dream to be a Personal Trainer came to life! I was 42ish when all that was going on. Well as of today, Exactly 5 yrs Ago, I made that Dream a Reality!!!! I passed my certification exam on March 8th, 2012! That was the one of the Happiest days of my life! (I sat in the car & Cried like a 2yr old outside the test center for what seemed like 10min lol) 3 years ago, I even passed my National Certification with NCSF, followed by my Sports Nutrition Specialist, Spartan SGX Coach & Obstacle Specialist and Now a Certified Life Coach!

If you had asked me 10 yrs ago this was never on the radar for me.  But when that seed got planted that’s all I focused on and I never gave up!  There were days I thought I was crazy, but that seed was being watered every time I spoke the words “I am studying to pass my personal trainer exam”! It got stronger and bigger everyday.  There was no turning back.  At the Age of 44 I Changed My Life for The Better! Forever!

This is just a small snippet of my story and when the rest of it gets told you will see that Your Past has Nothing to do with your Destiny! It only gave you lessons to help you get there.  Stop watering Dead Plants!  Dream Again! Find Your Passion!  Then work backwards from there until you find a way to make it a reality like I Did!

I would love to hear your childhood dreams, or even better,  Your Big Kid (aka Grown Up lol) Dreams!  Leave a comment below, tag a friend, share with someone you think would benefit from this story!

Until next time, I hope yoy Have as Awesome Week as you can make it!

Fight Like Your Life Depends On It!!!!


Fight like your “Life Depends On It!!!” Because, you know what, It Does!  I have not written in a few months.  Not, because time got in the way (well maybe a little, lol) but because the Wednesday after Thanksgiving, my mom passed away unexpectedly.  I had just seen her the Monday before Thanksgiving.  She was doing fine.  I fussed at her some because she was not taking her blood pressure meds like she was supposed to and she wasn’t eating regular either.  She had a couple of dizzy spells while I was there and that is when I found out about the eating and medicine.  I told her that I loved her and that I was too far away to get to her in a hurry if something happened.  I told her that I wanted to keep her around for a long time and Begged her to start eating right and taking her medicine on time.  She promised me she would.

Thanksgiving day everything was fine. The weekend was nothing special, watched football and enjoyed the down time of the holiday.  Then I got the call from my middle brother Scott.  Mom was in ICU on a ventilator.  She had a heart attack in her sleep when he found her.  They revived her but said to call the family because she wasn’t going to make it.  I drove like a bat out of Hell to get there.  That was probably the Hardest day of my life.  See, me and my brothers had to make the decision to take our mom off the ventilator that day.  We watched her take her last breath at 845am December 4th.  She never wanted to be on machines and we kept our promise to her to make sure she didn’t stay on them.  I was up for 41 hrs straight. Then, to schedule her cremation was the 2nd Hardest Day of my Life. Then the day I had to pick up her remains…. If it had not been for my Best Friend Michelle Killin, that Entire Week, I am not sure I would have emotionally survived it.  I know that everything happens for a reason and that mom didn’t suffer.  She went in her sleep and felt no pain, just like she always said she wanted to go.  The Greatest Blessing to come out of that was to bring our family back together.  We had our 1st family Christmas dinner in over 7 yrs.  Me and my oldest brother, Billy, renewed our friendship.  I even spent 4 days at his house with him, his wife Heather & my awesome nephews, Devyn, Seth & Brody!  We had a Great time.

Then when I got home Sunday night after I picked up mom’s remains, still more than a little emotional, I get a message from my man, basically telling me he doesn’t know what he wants to do about our relationship.  After almost 2 & half yrs…? Sooooo, needless to say, we are Not together any more.  All of the details, really do not even matter at this point, it’s just that in less than a week, I lost 2 Very Important people in my life.  Emotional roller coaster is not even in the same realm of what I was on the last 45 days of 2013.  But, 2014 is a New Year Baby! Its gonna be Amazing! I can Promise you that!

I’ve had good days and bad days as expected.  And now I would say, I have Pretty much 98.9% Good days with the occasional bad day thrown in just to keep me in check.  Thus, the reason for the title of this blog! “FIGHT LIKE YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT” 

See, a few years back, I had a really bad bout with depression.  So bad, in fact, I wanted to take a whole bottle of sleeping pills & never wake up.  At that time in my life, waking up & breathing, in general, pissed me off to no end.  I now refer to those days as “Living in the Dark Places“.  I have beat depression and with a LOT of work, self-development, determination, some Amazing Friends & Mentors, and Most of ALL God, using All of those people to hold on to me and bring me into the light! His Light! I wrote a lot in journals then, and still do.  Mostly to get those angry and hurting feelings out of me.  They were eating at my soul and I hated how I felt.  I still have those journals, as a reminder mostly, of what I went through and motivation to keep moving forward.  See, I had to FIGHT! Fight with everything that was within me, scratching, clawing, crying, screaming, running, crawling, determined with every inch of my soul, that I was going to Get my Life Back! I was going to Breathe Again! To Live a Real Life Again! To Love Again!

So, yes, My Life, literally, Depended on that Fight! So going through so much, right at the holidays, with so much loss, hurt & pain not only Sucked to no end, but in the back of my mind, I could hear the voices.  I could feel the darkness and shadows trying to squeeze all the air out of my lungs.  I would talk to myself, sometimes loud enough for people to turn their head and look at me, when I would say “You are Not gonna get me today“! I would shake my head and keep it moving.  I told my housemate, I will Not go back to the “Dark Places!”  I was, and some days, still am, In a Fight for My Life! You know why I fight? Because, I have 2 Awesome children and 3 even more Awesome Grands!  They Love Me almost as much as I Desperately Love Them!  They are the Reason I Breathe Every Day & the Reason I Fight! The other reason I fight…. is because I know I can help people! That is my Job! I Love What I Do!!! I Love my clients and my Friends! And With this story….


I want to Inspire People! Even if it’s just One! I want someone to say, “Because of you, I didn’t Give Up!”  God gave me the most Incredible Strength!  Sometimes I believe he thinks I am the Incredible Hulk lol.  I appreciate the confidence, truly I do, but there are days ,I wish he didn’t think I was Big, Green & Invincible lol.

Eminem has this new song out called “The Monster“.  It says, “I’m friends with the monster under my bed, I get along with the voices inside of my head, you’re trying to save me stop holding your breath, you think I’m crazy, you think I’m crazy, well that’s not fair”! The truth is, we ALL have voices in our head.  We either choose to ignore them, listen to them, run from them or tell them to Shut Up!  You have to admit, even if it’s just to yourself, sometimes they have some really Great Ideas,  lol.  We, can either Choose to let those voices demean & crush us, or we can Choose, to let them Inspire us to be the person God has destined us to be.

431433_297769193627349_204152432989026_756257_943112872_nSoooooo, Now, its time to put on my “Big Girl Shoes” and show the world that My God is Bigger than any problem that comes my way! He is there to Pick me Up when Life knocks Me Down!  At the end of the day, we all have a Two Choices.  When life kicks you in the face and knocks you down, are you gonna stay down and be a “Victim” or are you gonna Choose to Get Up & Fight Like Your Life Depends On It?!?!?!?!?!?  I hope that something in here helped you see that life does get better.  Life is not meant to be pain free.  Without the pain, the happiness & joy would have no meaning, nor would you appreciate those days.  God never said we would not have any trouble, in fact, he promised there would be hard times.  But he also said, he would pay you back for all your tears.  God’s word Never comes back Void! There is Light in the Darkness! I Know, because when I opened my eyes, I found it when I looked up & he wrapped his arms around me to shower me with his love.  Share with someone who needs a little ray of sunshine in their life today! I would love to know what you thought, so leave me a comment and lets chat! #BeBlessed


Lessons of Life From Your Food

My Mahi Master Piece

My Mahi Master Piece

I am sure you are wondering, What could my food teach me about life?  Well other than the old adage “You are what you eat” for starters lol.  See I am a Certified Personal Trainer and I Love, Love, Love to Cook and Eat.  I also live in the south where we love anything Fried and covered in gravy!  Needless to say that is a Nightmare for anyone who wants that perfect waistline.

Now I haven’t been a trainer my whole life and have had my share of ups and downs with my weight because of my love of food and my love of cooking (which I happen to be Really good at doing so that just makes it worse lol).  To add to that, I am emotional eater.  I go from one extreme to the other.  I will either Eat Everything in the House or Not Eat for Days!  Either way you look at it I was always in serious trouble with my weight.

The picture above is probably one of my Best Food Masterpieces! “Blackened Mahi Mahi, with garlic herb Hericot Verts”!  I love Mahi Mahi.  I was at the farmers market and they had the Mahi steaks on sale, so I picked up 2 for me and my housemate.  Now, you must know, I have NEVER in my life cooked Mahi Mahi before in my life!  But any time its been available to eat on a menu, I have ordered it and when I worked at McCormick & Schmicks Seafood Restaurant in Birmingham, AL they had the Best Blackened Mahi I have ever put in my mouth.  So I was determined that I was gonna make that for dinner.  And I Did It!! It was AWESOME!! Even made the fresh mango/pineapple salsa to go with it and the Hericot Verts was a first time for me too.  Add a glass of good Red Wine and you have a Dinner made for a Queen!!

So, I know you’re wondering, “Okay, Tammy, we get it you love food, but What does this have to do with “Life Lessons“? 

Have you ever went out to eat, tried a new restaurant and found out you didn’t like Anything At ALL on their menu?  Or somebody recommended a particular dish, gave you the recipe and when you cooked it yourself it was Horrid?  I am quite sure there is not anybody that has had one or both of those experiences.  Or what about, your cooking one of your favorite dishes that you cook all the time, you get distracted, the telephone rings or your child gets hurt & you BURN your Favorite Dish!  Or worse yet, one of your little munchkins runs into you as you’re trying to set dinner on the table and you drop the Main dish in the middle of the floor!!  Yep, been there done that, to ALL of the above at some point in my many years of cooking.

Now, when any one of those things happened, did you world come crushing down around you?  Did it alter your Destiny Path in your life? (Well, other than what was for dinner that night lol) I would venture to guess the answer to Both of those Questions is a resounding NO!  Yes, I know, it was heart breaking to have to change your dinner plans, but your life went on as scheduled, you went to work the next day, the kids went to school and the normalcy (Whatever “Normal” is these days) of your life continued as if the night before had Never happened.

So, lets just alter the scenario just a bit.  Lets apply the bad restaurant to, lets say, a Bad Choice in a Boyfriend/Girlfriend.  Yes, the relationship may have ended, and that person Sucked the life out of you for the time that you were together, but the good thing is that you learned something about yourself during that time.  Just like the Horrible place you went to eat, where you learned Never to go there to eat again.  You learned that whatever the personality traits of your “Ex” are, that you don’t like or hate for that matter, are Red Flags for your Next Relationship.  Your life didn’t end because the relationship did or you wouldn’t be reading my blog at this very moment.

You can apply this lesson to Everything you do in life!  Whether its, a wrong job, bad dinner choice, a person you should have never called “Friend“, or whatever it was that upset your world for a moment in time.  That is the point, it is Only a Moment In Time!  That “Moment” will pass and life will go on, just as it always has before.  The only thing you can do is “Choose” how those moments affect you.  You can either learn the lesson that is right in front of you, make the adjustments that need to be made, and move forward on your journey to your Destiny.  Or, you can Choose, to play the Victim! If you play the victim, focusing on what went wrong, who hurt you, this, that, the other, (Wah Wah Wah Wah Wah… yes …Quit Crying Already,) You Will Never reach your God Given Destiny! I’m sorry but in my book…That is Not an Option!

Whatever happened, happened for a reason!  To Teach You A Lesson!  Yes, it Sucked! Yes, It Hurt!  But no matter who you are, We ALL have Lessons to Learn and we ALL go thru some heartache and pain in our life.  It’s all in how you Choose to let it affect you!  It’s already happened and you can’t go back and change any of it.  It’s just like a book that an author has written, once it goes to print and that ink is dry, there is nothing else you can do but say, “Okay, I really jacked that up, so I know not to do it that way next time!

Just like my Blackened Mahi Mahi in the picture, as Awesome as it was, I know what I am gonna do different next time to make it even better.  Just like, my past relationships, I know what I like and don’t like in my man, what I am willing to accept or not accept which ultimately determines if I will continue to be in a relationship with them.  My past jobs, yep, I know what I like and don’t like, what jobs I would do again and which ones I hated and will Never do again.

My wish for you is this, That you learn Everything you can in every moment, good or bad, that you go thru.  That you are able to cherish the good, learn from the bad, make the necessary adjustments and Rock the Next Opportunity that comes along in your life path.  That when you reach your Destiny, you have taken the time to Stop, smell the roses, dance like nobody is watching, sing, as if, nobody can hear you and Most of All…. That you Enjoyed Every Moment in Your Journey and that there were a lot of Moments that Took Your Breath Away!

Thanks for stopping by to check out my blog tonight and I would love to hear what your Food Life Lesson Is!

Are You Moving Forward or Sitting Still?


Here is an even better question…..are you still moving while you are sitting still?  That all depends, are you looking behind you at your past? Or, are you looking “Forward” toward your Goals, Dreams and Destiny?

Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with “Remembering” your past.  It is apart of who you are and how you arrived at this place and time in your life.  There are lessons to be learned from your past mistakes to insure that you do not repeat them in the future.  There are also the Happy memories that will always be there to make you smile and warm your heart.  Where we get caught up in the past is usually in those past relationships that we thought he/she was the “One”.  They were the one we were gonna spend the rest of our life with and have the “Fairytale Ending“.  Or when bad things happen to good people that we had no control over.  We get stuck in that “Victim” mentality.  We also, have the “Glory Days”, you know when you can’t get out of that “Winning catch in the Big Game”.  Then you have the “STUPID” stuff you did that you knew when you did it that it was a Bad Idea.  We all have those, Trust Me, I am the Queen of Stupid Mistakes!  That is Life! That is how you Learn.

Yes, all of those things may be true.  But the truth of the matter is that none of those things “Killed” you, Right?  Your still alive or you wouldn’t be reading this blog post now, lol.  Did some of them Hurt? I am quite sure they did.  Did it totally Suck to have to go thru any of that?  Of course it did!  But the fact remains that You Are Very Much Alive!  Or, well, at least I think you are.  Do the pulse check for me, you know, put your fingers on the artery on your neck, and if you can feel that “thump, thump” under your fingers, that means your heart is beating and you have a pulse! YaY!!!! Take a Deep Breath….let it out nice and slow.  Did you feel that?  Did you hear the breath come out of your lungs?  Great!  If you said “YES” to those questions then you are Definitely Alive!

So, why are you still looking behind you?  ALL of that “STUFF“, it can’t be changed.  There is nothing you can do about it now.  Here is something for you to think about…. The truth of the matter is that the future is where your going to live.  So, if you don’t start looking in front of you to your future and start creating the life “You Want”, then you will be spending “Your Future” built by somebody else’s dream that you don’t want to be in.  How is that for a reality check on Monday?

Look at your future as a Blank Canvas.  Now, the way I see it, you have Two Options.  Option Number One, You can let your peers, co-workers, boss, family, society or worse yet, the Government, decide how you should live your life and your future. (How bad is that gonna Suck in 5 years?)  Or, Option Number Two, and my personal favorite, You can design Your Own Life!  Whatever that Means to You!  If money was no object, and the people around you refused to let you fail, What Would You Do?  (NOTE: If the people around you want you to fail or don’t support you, then You Need To Change Your Zip Code, I’m just saying)  The only person stopping you from doing what “YOU” want to do is You!

I am 46 years old.  I didn’t reach my 1st life goal of being a personal trainer until I was 44.  You know what I have been doing all day?  Studying! Why? Because now it is time to pass a National Certification Exam so that when I move to San Juan, PR, I can get a job in Any Gym I want to and I will Still be doing what I Love to do, Just on a Tropical Island!!! (Yes its okay to be Jealous now lol)  I am not bragging about my accomplishment (well maybe just a little, lol) but I am Very Proud of Myself for Overcoming an Abusive Childhood and past to make this happen!  Which means, if I can do it, Anybody Can.  (You can see part of my story Here)

Don’t stand still and let life pass you by because your comfortable hiding in the shadows of the past.  Come out into the Sunshine and Enjoy ALL that life has to offer! Take that Canvas and Paint the Life You Want To Live!

Thanks for taking time out of your busy schedule to hear a piece of my heart tonight! I would love to hear what you are painting on your Canvas!