A Big Thank You To All Who Serve

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  To ALL of my Friends Family & Loved Ones who have Ever or are Now Serving in our Armed Forces, Active, Retired, Reserved, Past Present & Future! Thank You!

For those of us that have had or have family member that have been Deployed, we know 1st hand the sacrifices you have made, the Unselfishness you possess, the Unconditional Loyalty Deep within your Soul that you were born with and the Dedication to Never Give Up, Never Stop Fighting the Good Fight, Never Leaving a Man/Woman/Child Behind.

We will never understand completely, the things that you have seen, been thru or endured. The reasons you have nightmares that you never want to talk about. The reasons you have days where you are just Angry for No reason. The emotion you feel when you see a fallen soldier you never met. And we will never feel the amount of Pride that you feel every time you hear the National Anthem sung.

The understanding that the day you signed up for this life, that you wrote a #BlankCheck to the United States of America and every citizen that lives here, to Serve and Protect no matter the cost, up to and including the last breath you take with your life to save a Nation of People whom you will Never Know or probably never meet! So on this #VeteransDay I personally want to Say #ThankYou from the Bottom of my Heart and with All the Love I have Within Me for Sacrificing & being the Unconditionally Unselfish people to do what you do Every Single Day! Today is Your Day as is Every day in my book! And I pray for your safety and that Everyone that you come in contact Solutes you and tells you #ThankYou for your Never Ending Service!

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The Broken Heart of a Child..Stop Bullying!!!!

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Its no secret that I have 3 grandchildren and that they are the Life within my lungs day in and day out.  This past weekend I got to spend some much needed “GG Time” with them.  With me living in Atlanta, I don’t get to see them as much as I would like to, but it also makes our time very valuable and intense, which I love by the way lol.

My middle granddaughter who is 7 1/2, is bi-racial.  She is probably one of the sweetest children on the planet. Never meets a stranger and is Very Smart.  As a matter of fact, she just made straight “A’s” on her most recent report card.  I have been praying about this post for a few days now and wanted to calm down before I started writing because I wanted it to come from a Good Place to open up productive communication and not anger and hate.

Children are not Born To Hate.  As a matter of fact, they are Born to Love.  They Love Unconditionally until they are “Taught” otherwise.  See, she came home the other day and asked her mom, “Mommy, do I have to keep going to my school? Can I go somewhere different please?  They are mean to me and tell me that I am ugly because I am brown and everybody hates me”  This Infuriated me as it would any parent or grandparent.  Needless to say, my daughter was more than a little pissed off by this too.  Trying to keep her calm so that she could have an effective conversation with the teacher and/or principal about the bullying going on was more than just a little difficult.

When I had lunch with my granddaughter yesterday at a local Mexican restaurant in Birmingham, this was our conversation….

(I will call her “Pam” to protect her) Pam:  GG, do you have a husband? Why are you always alone? Me: (laughing) No baby I don’t have a husband and when its time it will happen.  Pam:  Well what about him (pointing at our waiter), he would be perfect for you and you perfect for him (with all the confidence her sweet little heart could muster lol) Me: (trying not to Laugh hysterically and break her heart) No baby that is not how that works but thank you for trying to help your GG like that lol. Your GG is attracted to men with brown skin like yours. Then this is where the conversation turned and I realized that the seeds of self-hate had already started and the bullying was working on her self-image… Pam:  Oh, I didn’t know that.  When I get bigger I am going to marry me a white man.  Me: Well that is perfectly ok baby.  It does not matter what color their skin is as long as their heart Loves you with ALL they have in it.  Pam:  GG, what color skin will my babies have If I marry a white man?  Me: They will have pretty brown skin like yours.  Remember how the manager here said how beautiful you were and that your skin was so pretty?  Pam:  Yes, but I don’t like my brown skin and I want my babies to have white skin like yours.  Me:  (Silence….Fighting back tears)  Baby, you are the most beautiful child and your skin has NOTHING to do with your Beauty! Do Not Ever Believe Anything Different!  Then I changed the subject as not to upset her or our fun time we were having.

Now, some people would say, that is just kids being kids.  Some people will automatically want to boycott the school, drag out the parents of the children and publicly flog them.  Others will ignore this to stay in their oblivious bubble thinking there is NOT a problem or it’s NOT their child that would ever do such a thing.  Do I think that these 7+ year old children know what it is that they are saying or the meaning behind it? Absolutely not!  Do I think the parents “Intentionally” pointed it out and have said something to make their children say those things? I would Pray with every inch of my soul that there was No Intent, but do I think it was most likely and “Unintentional” comment that was said when they “Thought” their child wasn’t listening? Yes I do!

I am talking To ALL Parents!  I don’t care if your black, white, asian, mixed or whatever, Your Children Hear and SEE way more than you realize.  This is not the 1800-1900’s any more! Relationships between different races is the Normal now days.  Bi-racial children are Everywhere! Hell if the Truth be known, None of Us are Pure Bread with just 1 Race Any More!!! Children are Smart!! Children not only hear what we say, they Hear what we Don’t Say!  They See what we do, who we hang out with and Also, who we Don’t hang out with!  The conversation has to Start At Home!!! When will we quit Teaching Hate to our Children?!?!?!?  Do we even know why we don’t like someone of a different race?  Or are we just doing what our parents/grandparents did because we think it is “Disrespectful” to be Different and Brake the Chains of Hate!! 

Lets do a little experiment for a second (I saw this on Facebook and can’t take the credit for it but I want to share).  A teacher did this experiment in her classroom of elementary school students (I don’t remember what grade) She pulled out a “White Egg” and a “Brown Egg“.  She showed the class that the color of each was different but they were both “Eggs” and the class agreed.  Now here is where it gets interesting, the teacher (God Bless Her) said just like people, our “Skin may be different colors, (then she broke open both of the raw eggs on the plate) we are all the Same on the inside” as both yolks were EXACTLY the SAME!  I wish I could have seen and heard the surprise and Awe of all the children in her class at that moment in time.  She is Exactly right! We ALL may look different on the Outside, but on the Inside…. We Are ALL made up of the Same organs, blood, bones etc… THE SAME!!!  

We look at all the crime on the news, the shootings, robberies, black on black crime, white on black crime, white on white crime… It is ALL Crime! One crime is not any better or worse than the other at the end of the day when someone is injured or killed!! ALL Lives Matter!! Point Blank Period!! It ALL Starts at Home With You!!!

I am making a Plea to ALL Parents/Grandparents/Aunts/Uncles/Brothers/Cousins/Friends/Family Members, Please, I beg you with Every Inch of My Soul, Please Stop The Madness!! Talk to God, Talk to your pastor, Talk to your Children, Talk to your Spouse, Talk to your Family, Go to Counseling, But Don’t continue to Breed Hate for another human being because they LOOK Different Than You!!! If we want our children to have a Better life than we did and to have a Better World to live in when they grow up, WE as the Adults on this Planet, have to be Able to have an Open Dialog, without Pointing the finger and Without Blaming anyone!  Look in the Mirror and Say it Starts With Me!! You can be the 1st Step To Change!! 

If this has touched you in some way, I would love to hear your thoughts and comments! Please Share this and lets take it around the world and Let’s Be the Change we Seek for our Children and Future Generations!! Thank you and God Bless!

Tribute To All My Strong Women

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Yes Ladies, this is ALL About You today! Woot Woot! The Strong Women! The ones who are there for their family, friends, church, co-workers & charities. Those that people lean on when they need direction. Those that people seek when they need to be told the Truth they know within but don’t want to hear in the consciousness of the awake world.  The ones that flourish in times  f crisis only to break down behind closed doors because we don’t want anyone to know that we have moments of weakness too!

See, I am a Strong Woman! Anyone who knows me personally and knows even just a little of my story, will tell you that they don’t know how I do it.  I am a personal trainer, so I am physically strong. I have battled Depression and almost took my own life, but I fought with everything within me and Won! So I am Emotionally Strong! I am a Mother and a GG, so as all mothers and grandmothers know, we are the backbone of strength for our families. I am a sister with 3 brothers, the oldest and the only girl, so I am tough deep down in my soul.  I could go on with more and more of things that make me and lots of other women on this planet strong, but it is not about just that. It is about how we know, we are also Weak!  We put on a mask for the world to see because we have our “Strong Woman Crown” to wear every day.

There are some, that because they are strong, they are mean, hateful, bullies, demanding and just a plain pain in the ass to be around! (I used to be her! lol) But when in need, people will run to them, because they know this Strong Woman will Get the Job Done!

There are those that help everyone with their crisis but can’t seem to get their own life together, because they have given all they have to everyone else. (Yep, I have been her too… sigh)  Then there are those that “Seem” to have it all together, Happy, Strong, life on point, always lifting others up and nobody knows the brokenness within.  We dare NOT let anyone see our tears. Why? Because of the fear of judgment, that people wont need us any more if they see us at our weakest moments! (Yes, I graduated to this one as well lol)

To ALL of my Ladies, please hear this if you heard nothing that I said above, Let go of the fear of what other people think! Your Gift of Strength was earned!  God Blessed you with it.  But he also gave us the ability to be Strong in our Weakness! Yes, it sucks being strong all the time, especially when we are having our weak moments.  I know you feel like nobody can be there for you, but the truth is, God is there FIRST and Foremost! Realize, he put people in your life to help you when you are weak!

See, I know this because I have some pretty Awesome people who morphed into Superhero Friends when I least expected it! Give them Permission to Love You! To see your tears and let you cry, but also, Not to join your pity party!  Give them permission to Tell you the Truth, like you do them! Give them permission to help you, when you can’t seem to find your own Strength! Contrary to our “Inner Iron Man” or Woman as the case may be, It is Okay to ask for help from those we give help too!  Why should you even consider that you ask?  Here’s the deal, at the time you helped them, they thought they would Never be able to repay you for the Strength you shared in their time of need.  Well guess what, those that are your “True Friends” that you lended that strength to, will be your “Superhero Friends” when you least expect it!

So quit being all grumpy. Quit trying to save the world. Quit thinking crying is a weakness that will Kill You! Truth be told, crying cleanses and heals your soul! Crying will set your heart free! Letting someone else be strong helps you to be human! Being vulnerable makes you Beautiful and Sexy!

NONE of us have it all together all the time… that is just a fact of life! A hard one that I, myself, have difficulty accepting at times. But as I have grown into this most Awesome version of me that God has allowed me to be, I realize that I am Awesome Even When I Cry!

So, Take Your Masks OFF, My Strong Women! Be Beautiful, flaws and all! Embrace all the perfect, imperfections that God gave, to only you and show the World your True Inner Strength! Your Tears!

Sincerely,

One Strong Woman to Another

It’s Your Life So Live It Your Way

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When I saw this picture, it Inspired this post.  It may be a little wordy but it will definitely be worth it 🙂

See, Nobody on this earth makes it out Alive! We ALL are going to Die someday.  We do not know when that someday is for any of us.  Someone, you, me, your neighbor, friend, classmate etc could go any minute today, tomorrow or next year.  I know that sounds scary, but the truth is the truth. That part, quite honestly, shouldn’t even really be a concern to you because the time and place is 100% out of your control.  God has the final say and it is already written as to when your time is up.

So, what is the point of all this Tammy? Yes I know it is a gloomy way to start of a blog, but there really is an Awesome point to be made.  No we may not have control over when we die, But….. What we do have absolutely 100% control over is what We DO and who we Become from NOW until the day we die!  Now, Seriously… How Freaking Awesome is That! (Imagine Me doing my Happy Dance right now! Ha!)

You have a choice to make.  Are you gonna put your head down and just shuffle your feet one day at a time, complaining how miserable you are and how life ahs dealt you a “RAW DEAL“? Is that what you’re doing Right Now?  Well you know what…. SHUT UP!!! Yes, you can go back and read that again in ALL Caps, Bold & Underlined and Imagine Me Yelling at you!!! SHUT UP!!!!  See, the only person responsible for your Situation is YOU! Not your mom, your dad, your cousin, aunt, uncle, sister, brother, pastor, teacher, etc.  Those are people who are “Influences” in your life! Those influences may be positive or negative! You are in total control of what you listen to and accept in your life, NOT Them.

Here’s the deal, you have a God Given, Divine Right to “CHOOSE” how your life goes. How you React or Respond to the Good or Bad situations that happen in your life is up to YOU and You Only!  Yes, sometimes bad things happen to good people and we have Zero control over that!  What we do have control over is to properly “Respond” and say “This was not anything that I could control and I am okay with that!!  It does not Define who I am but it does make me stronger because I Survived it for a Reason“!!!

How do I know this to be true?  Because I have personally lived thru just that.  See, my 1st childhood memories, are of me being sexually abused from about ages 3 or 4ish on and off until it finally ended when I was 13.  I do not have too many happy memories as a young child that I can remember at the moment.  But, what I do know, is that God Protected me from all that pain, physical & mental, by making me black it out until I was an adult and he knew I was able to hand the reality of it all.  I made a conscious CHOICE to NOT let my past, that I had ZERO control over, determine who I am or could Become! Nor would I let it hold me captive as a victim in my own mental prison.  Now there is a lot more to that part of the story of my life that I will reveal in another post, which will Greatly Shock you as to how I am still Standing here Loving and Embracing life to the fullest Every Single Day!

As I said, I am living, breathing proof that Bad things can sometimes happen to Good People and you can make an Amazing life for yourself.  What is it that you need to Let Go of in order to move forward into your Destiny of Awesomeness?  If this post has helped or inspired you in some way, please hit the “LIKE” button and then “Share” on Facebook, Google+ or any other of your favorite Social Media Hangouts, so that we can Help and Inspire as many people around the world to take back their life and Live it to the Fullest!  Remember, the Epilogue to your Life, has Not yet been written!  So Make It Awesome!

Do It With Passion

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“PASSION” … What does that mean to you?  I know, your thinking “Tammy, Really”?  Yes, Really!  See, “Passion” means different things to different people.  Don’t determine your passion based on someone else’s definition. 

Some people have passion about work.  Others about church. Some about animals. And others about women, children, family etc.  Your definition may be that you work a few extra hours a week.  Someone else may think that their family is more important than a 8-5 job so 1 spouse sports the whole house hold. 

Then there is the relationship/sexual implications of “Passion” which should be a given, but even in that department there are a lot of different definitions of what that means. 

We all have to do some serious soul searching to find out what it is that makes or heart beat a little faster or even beat so fast we have to catch our breath.  That’s what I’m looking for right there!  That “THING” that every time it comes up we can’t hardly breathe we get so excited!  What is that feeling?  Why does it do that?  Is not occasionally it’s Every Single Time!  That is your PASSION!   That thing that had been put inside you to chase and it makes us come alive!  We talk faster,  breathe harder,  our brain doesn’t want to shut off, or hands get sweaty and or heart beats faster with each word. 

That is where your Passion lies within you! Until you fo something that feeds that hunger you will not know True Happiness from the inside out!  Other people are not attached to this only you!   Someone may be a fuel for you but we all have different journeys.  And when you get on that path you know without a doubt God has led you there because not only is there Passion & Fire there is Peace!  That is the Ultimate Goal… Peace within your Passion!

What makes your heart race?  What is your Passion?  What can you do to make that passion make money for you?  Start at the final destination and work backwards to see that action steps to get there!  But None of this will matter if you never take that first Step! 

I spyglass love to hear what Passion means to you! Please share and keys inspire the world to feed their Passion!

Free Your Mind…Live Your Life

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You know, we all spend so much time with our life in Hyper-speed! Go here, do that, listen to this, talk to this one, that one & the other one. Go to work, 8, 10, 12 or more hours a day. Come home, cook, clean, take a shower, pass out & do it all over again the next day.  We worry about who is watching or “Not” watching us.  What they think of us or what they may or may not be saying about us.  There is feeling that is so Paralyzing with “What do they Think about me?”  Whether its a love interest, a new friend, co-worker, boss or just someone that catches their eye in the line at the grocery store.  So many of our thoughts are caught up in “What other people think” about us.

Well you know what… Who Cares!!! Seriously!  Yes, maybe that sounds a little harsh to some of you, but honestly, its the truth and you need to hear it!  We spend way too much of our Good Energy on people who 98% of the time are not even giving us a second thought, much less their first thought.  If they made you mad, they Do Not Care!  They haven’t thought about it for a second and I would venture to guess they probably don’t even know they made you mad in the first place. I am sure you are wondering what this has to do with Business and Wealth.  Just stay with me for a few minutes as I explain the connection to you.

So, now, You are walking around all puffed up over someone else’s opinion of you, you are mad for hours, days, weeks and in some cases even Years for No Reason at all! People are gonna hurt you and you are gonna hurt other people whether its intentional or not.  Whether its with words or actions (or the lack there of in some cases) its inevitable that its going to happen.  There is a thought process that I use to help me when things like this happen.  First thought, “Is there anything I can do to change this situation?” Its a simple yes or no.  If Yes, then list what I can do and then do it.  If “NO”, then its oh well, on with my day.  Let go and Let God!   Yes it is really that simple!

See, if your mad, then Your Day is ruined.  You are in control of your emotions not them.  When you learn that one simple principle then your life and all the circumstances surrounding you will change.  Whether that is in your personal, professional, financial, spiritual, emotional or social life.  That is how this is tied into your business and wealth.  When you learn that if you let them make you mad and you stay that way then They Win! That is where it affects every area of your life!  If it happens in your love life, then it affects your business life because you cant completely focus on your job or business because your heart is hurting.  If its in your social life, it affects your financial life because now your focus is not on your money, its on them.  When you let other people control your emotions and give your thoughts momentum to the negative side of life, its the equivalent of drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.  How is that working out for you?

Life is Too Damn Short to be walking around Pissed off all the time!  If someone you love hurt you, cheated on you, lied to you or whatever the case may be, you have the same 2 choices.  Can it be fixed? Yes or No?  If yes, then work together to find a solution and fix it!  If NO, then walk away and let it go!  If the only solution is to walk away know that this part is not always so easy all the time. (trust me I speaking from personal experience) But you were put on this earth to do something Amazing!  You may not know what it is right now, but if you are walking around all mad & upset all the time, you will never be able to see the open door to you blessings or to your destiny!

Don’t spend your life looking down at the ground, upset, mad or miserable! Look up and enjoy the beautiful sunshine, laugh, smile, have fun and Follow Your Heart! Do Not Let Life Pass You By and Don’t let the world paint on your Canvas of Life! That is your paint brush and you are in control of what goes on your canvas from hear on out!! How will you Paint Your Future??!!  Happiness is a Choice!  You have the God Given Right to be Happy!  You and you alone are responsible for your Happiness.  Other people can add to or contribute to it, but putting the burden on someone else to “Make You Happy” means that you are not in control of your life.  Is that the way you want to live your life?  Out of control and in hands of someone else?  A long time ago, I had to learn this lesson and lean into it for my own health, wealth and mental well being.  It changed my life forever!  So much so that now I am an International Life Coach, Public Speaker and a soon to be Published Author when my book comes out at the First of August!  The belief level that I have in myself changed direction 180 degrees when I realized that I was in control of my Happiness and not someone else.  That I was in control of my future, not someone else! That I was in control of my Finances and not someone else!  I was in control of my Destiny and not someone else!  You too, have this same control!

I would love to encourage you to grab a white piece of paper and a blue pen.  Now, name one thing that you can do today that will make your day 100% better than yesterday? That one thing could be as simple as “I’m going to go to the pool and just enjoy the sunshine today.”  It could be as simple as “I am going to give my kids an extra hug today and tell them how much I love them.”  Maybe, its something like “I am going to put on my headphones, turn up my favorite tunes and dance around the house naked while I clean!”  That thought alone should have made you laugh and your day is already better! (Your Welcome!)  Take a Deep Breath, let it out nice and slow, Feel the Life that is inside of you come Alive within that breath!  If you are alive, then you have a purpose on this earth and it starts with Choosing to make yourself Happy and watch how the universe returns that to you in ways you can only imagine!

If this touched you or if you know someone this message would be a blessing to, please hit the like and share button and help a friend today!  And as Always, thanks for coming into my little world and letting me share my thoughts with you today! Hope to see you next week!

Oh and if your interested in my new book coming out…. Look for it on Amazon.com the title is “Dear Victim, Its Time for Us to Break Up Now!” A Story of Empowerment through Forgiveness Strength and Love.   Watch for links to be posted soon!  Love you all so much and cant wait to talk to you again Next Week!

Take The Lid Off Your Dreams

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There is so much to learn from this picture. When we are kids we Dream these HUGE Dreams.  We water them, we act them out during recess, we tell anyone that will listen what we are gonna do when we grow up. We have so much excitement! Our eyes are all happy,  we talk fast, we show everyone our super hero costume,  believing with every inch of our little soul, that 1 Day we are going to save the world and everyone is gonna live happily every after.  Do you remember those days?  What did you want to be? Astronauts, fireman, Doctor, nurse or a Movie Star lol!

Then we hit middle school and is like our teachers that once fed our imagination and dreams were now Zombies and they were trying to make us just like them! Ewe!! We had to be realistic and have a “J-O-B” that could pay the bills because our silly dreams would never happen.  Sheesh! Do you remember the first time you were told or realized your childhood dreams were made out to be pipe dreams by the adults who thought “They Knew All the Answers?” 

Now, we are all Grown Up, and 98% of people on the planet literally HATE their job. They dread going to work.  They are depressed and generally just go thru life as a Zombie because they feel they have No Way Out! They quit dreaming and probably wouldn’t know where to start off looking for a dream these days.

I am here to tell you that you can do whatever you want to do! No matter how old you are or what stage of life your in at the moment.  How do I know this you ask? Because I am Living Proof that it can happen!  See I am 49 yrs old. I have 2 grown children and 3 beautiful grandchildren!  I have worked in restaurants on & off my whole life. Then 1 day I lost the job, the house, the car and my whole life was flipped upside down.  I gained a bunch of weight,  got depressed,  people who I thought were my friends, disappeared into thin air.  Waking up and breathing generally pissed me off! (I know, to know me now, you would never believe that person could ever have been me lol)

But, I got in the gym and started working out with my best friend and my roommate at the time and between the 3 of us we lost almost 150lbs! That is when my Dream to be a Personal Trainer came to life! I was 42ish when all that was going on. Well as of today, Exactly 5 yrs Ago, I made that Dream a Reality!!!! I passed my certification exam on March 8th, 2012! That was the one of the Happiest days of my life! (I sat in the car & Cried like a 2yr old outside the test center for what seemed like 10min lol) 3 years ago, I even passed my National Certification with NCSF, followed by my Sports Nutrition Specialist, Spartan SGX Coach & Obstacle Specialist and Now a Certified Life Coach!

If you had asked me 10 yrs ago this was never on the radar for me.  But when that seed got planted that’s all I focused on and I never gave up!  There were days I thought I was crazy, but that seed was being watered every time I spoke the words “I am studying to pass my personal trainer exam”! It got stronger and bigger everyday.  There was no turning back.  At the Age of 44 I Changed My Life for The Better! Forever!

This is just a small snippet of my story and when the rest of it gets told you will see that Your Past has Nothing to do with your Destiny! It only gave you lessons to help you get there.  Stop watering Dead Plants!  Dream Again! Find Your Passion!  Then work backwards from there until you find a way to make it a reality like I Did!

I would love to hear your childhood dreams, or even better,  Your Big Kid (aka Grown Up lol) Dreams!  Leave a comment below, tag a friend, share with someone you think would benefit from this story!

Until next time, I hope yoy Have as Awesome Week as you can make it!