Do Not Let Your Past Determine Your Destiny!
This post is a combination from several things I have read in the last few months and my own personal past that I am gonna reveal to you tonight. This has really been on my heart of late and I think the time is right. See we ALL have a “Past”. I don’t care who you are. If you have made a success out of your life then this post may not be for you because you did not let your Past Determine your Destiny and choose to Succeed in spite of or, better yet, because of your past.
See, there are a lot of people that “Choose” to play the victim. Choose to say well this happen to me or that happen to me. Or my favorite, this person did that to me back when, or this person said that…you get the idea. I am living proof of it doesn’t matter what happen to you, what you went thru, who said what or who tried to keep you from succeeding. It is all in how you CHOOSE to react to what happen.
Not many people know what I am about to share, but I know from my personal experiences, testimony, trials, Abundant Failures and successes that I am meant to help somebody or a Lot of Somebody’s with this story. See, my first childhood memory is of me being sexually abused by my mother’s boyfriend while they were having sex on the couch. I could not have been more than 3yrs old. And pretty much Every childhood memory up until about the age of 8yrs old was the same kind of abuse from different men in her life. My last one was at the age of 13. After that I was big enough and strong enough to fight back and win. There was lots of physical, mental and emotional abuse to go along with it until I finally graduated high school and moved out of the house.
My whole sense of what a so called “Loving Relationship” has been jacked up for years. My biological father was never a part of my life and I do not even know who he is to this day. I have been through one jacked up relationship after another. Honestly, I am only alive today because God used a friend to call me on a very dark day in my life when I wanted to take a whole bottle of sleeping pills and just go to sleep to Never Wake UP.
Why did he do that? Why even care about ME? I am just a girl that had nothing to offer anybody. I had been used, abused, beaten down emotionally, little to no self-esteem, what Purpose could I possibly serve anyone, let alone God on this planet? But you know what, I have 2 Beautiful Children and 3 Awesome Grandchildren who Love me & I Love Them More than Life. They give me a reason to get out of bed everyday. That is my #1 reason for living!
But, the main reason that I revealing this to the world, is because I Made It! I Beat My Past! Did I do it alone? Hell No! Was it easy? Extra Hell No!! It was hard as Hell! Did i want to quit or give up? Yes! More times than I care to admit to myself much less the world. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that the things that happen to me as a child, Were Not My Fault! They Do NOT make me any less of a person today. What they did do was make me Stronger! They taught me how to forgive! They taught me how to Fight! Most of ALL….They taught me that GOD Loves ME! That He can Heal ALL things! That He, the creator of this Beautiful Universe, Did Not Give Up On Me when I gave up on myself! He Loved Me when I Hated Me! I hated who I was, who I had become and couldn’t stand to look at myself in the mirror! HE Still Loved Me! He Forgave Me! He Saved Me! He Heals Me Every Single Day! He has Blessed Me beyond my wildest dreams because He Loves Me! Not because I deserve it, although by some people’s opinion’s, I am sure they would say that I do deserve it after going through what NO Child should Ever have to endure.
Could play the victim? Sure I could, even today after this story gets out, there would Not be a single person on this earth that would blame me for one second if I hated the world and everyone in it! But I know that I have a Purpose! I know that as HARD as this story is to type now, that there is someone, somewhere, that will read it and I Pray beyond ALL Prayers, that it will Save a Life! I have Lost Everything in my life 2x, the house, the car, the job and it almost cost me my life. But today, I stand before you, as a Proud 46-year-old Beautiful Mother of 2, GG of 3, a Certified Personal Trainer (a life long goal accomplished at the age of 44) and I hope, an Inspiration to many. I pray that I give Hope to Someone who needs to know You Are Worthy! Your Past Does Not Determine Your Destiny! You are Not a Victim you are a Victor! You are Beautiful! You are Strong! And if you are reading this now, God Lead you here to help you heal! To find him so that He can Love you Like a Father is Suppose to! ALL you have to do is ask!
Please share this with as many people as you can. I know that I am meant to help people, even though I am not sure how, I just know that This, My personal Story, of Faith in a God I didn’t Know, did not want to know, Saved me and Lead Me here! I would love to hear your feed back and if this has helped you or someone you know in some way!
Thank you for taking time to read part of my life story tonight! Be Blessed